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Archive for April, 2011
The Art of Working with People – “pre-judging”
Friday, April 8th, 2011
A few years back, I found myself in the Dayton, Ohio airport. While I stood there (waiting for my sister) I couldn’t help but to multi-task a little. I was actually standing there looking for the illustration to this point. As I did, I huge man came and stood beside me. This was a man approximately fifty times my size and looked as though he could and just might crush me with his hands if I looked at him wrong. As I saw a woman, whom I assumed was his wife, approach him I could see that she was just coming home from a long trip. It wasn’t until then that I noticed that this monster of man was holding flowers and balloons. As she approached him, huge tears streamed down his face and he embraced her and cry out loud how he missed her and is so glad she’s home now. I was moved beyond words. I thought to myself, how true this is with God? So many people cannot begin to imagine a God crying out loud at the thought of one He loves so dearly coming close to Him. This kind of love is as uncommon as light is in darkness.
Here’s the point. It’s not about God’s love (which I use this illustration with a lot), it’s about judging. How many times do I pre-judge someone? How many times do you? Comment – Tell us your story of when you pre-judged someone.
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The Art of Working with People – “real” people are broken
Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
Something we need to understand is that we’re only human. The people that we work with are only human as well. If you’re like me, authenticity is important in every relationship. We want to create an environment where everyone on our team is “real”. Well if that’s the case remember these few things about Real People:
1) Real people are not perfect, but broken. Moses, David, Peter, Paul, and so many others in scripture stand as example to the fact that even real people are flawed and broken. Psalm 31:12b “…for I am a broken vessel.”
2) God uses real people!
I Corinthians 1:27
“But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong.”
Ephesians 2:10
“For we are His workmanship (masterpieces) created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
I Peter 2:9-11
“For you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession (Owned by God), that you may proclaim the excellence of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. You were once not a people but now you are the people of God (owned by God)…”
3) We are here to help real people make their Impact in the Kingdom.
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The Art of Working with People – accepting and offering criticism
Monday, April 4th, 2011
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
-James 1:2-3
Nobody likes criticism or at least no “normal person” enjoys criticism. Most people hate to receive it and if they were very honest, most only offer it out of their own insecurity and pain. Why is it that critique runs rampant in most teams? There’s one really good answer to this: the leader allows it to run rampant. Some leaders not only allow it, but also are the guiltiest member. So let’s look real quickly at how to accept criticism and how to offer it.
How to accept criticism
1) Seek more answers to the critique. The first thing that happens when someone criticizes us is our defense mechanisms go into high gear. As a matter of fact, if you’re like me they go into super high gear. So how do we bring those down a notch? Ask clarifying questions. Not in a snotty “I think you’re wrong” way, but instead ask them to clarify what they’re saying in such a way that you can REALLY hear what they’re saying. This helps us take a breath and really evaluate what their saying. Is this a legitimate concern that I need to change or is this just someone trying to hurt me.
2) Everyone may deserve the right to his or her opinion, but if it’s a dumb opinion, it’s a dumb opinion. I’ve noticed that especially here in the States, we hold to the value that everyone can and should have an opinion and that every opinion matters. That’s just not true. My opinion on astrophysics is that, well, I really don’t know what it even is. You’d be a complete moron to take my advice on anything related to the topic. The same can be said with so many people and their viewpoints on leadership. Some people just love to share their opinion on how YOU should think, act, and react in every circumstance. Take their opinion for what it’s worth, and realize that it might not be worth very much.
3) Hurt people hurt people. We know this. This might be the very reason we’ve received the criticism in the first place. The other person is hurt about something and the feel the need to lash out…and you were a perfect target. Just remember that if you’re hurt, your natural reaction will be to hurt someone else. It might be the offending person, another coworker, spouse or child. Either way, don’t be that person. Choose to not be that person.
How to offer criticism
1) You’ve heard the formula before. First you be sure to say something good… then your critique…then something else good. Blagh! Don’t do that. Not that there isn’t truth to the formula. It’s just that people can see right through it. The key is this: if you continually critique others, they won’t care about what you say. I have a few people in my life who love to tell me what to do and how to do it. To be honest, I rarely rely on their advice, their critique, or their perspective. On the other hand, I have a few people in my life who really do care about me more than they care about looking like they know more than me. When those people point out something in my life that is “off”, well… I want to change. It’s all in the relationship.
2) Keep it honest. Make sure you really know what you’re critiquing and why. Just be honest and say what it is that you’ve seen that appears to be out of character for a believer.
3) Keep it consistent. I don’t mean to keep criticizing consistently. What I mean is that you need to be a consistent source of honestly, love, and respect. Let people know by your actions that you are a safe place because you always have their best interest in mind.
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