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SHIFT
By Dave Olges
This is the first of a two-part series introducing Solution-Focused Counseling.
Tom and Debbie had been fighting for three months, almost non-stop. If they weren’t fighting, they were simply resting up for the next round. They had each traded a soulmate for a roommate, and they wisely recognized their need to get some professional counseling.
Like any problem-solver, the first thing a counselor wants to do is diagnose the problem, and that means learning some history. This not only helps the counselor, but the clients, who have to play the role of both journalist and historian. Over the next few months of counseling, Tom and Debbie had learned a lot. Tom saw how he (like his dad) relied on intellectualizing to avoid getting hurt. Debbie saw how she (like her mother) had nagged Tom for years to get what she wanted out of him.
Both were willing to admit their mistakes and wanted to move forward. So, it was with guarded hope that Debbie looked at her counselor and asked, “What now?”
“So, tell me about your mother.”
That classic line is a hallmark of famed psychotherapy pioneer Sigmund Freud. Widely considered the father of the discipline, Freud would spend years with a single client looking through his or her past. Freud wanted to inventory a client’s family type, closest friends, greatest successes, most painful failures, and, of course, “tell me about your mother.” It’s sort of a historian’s approach to problem-solving.
The assumption with psychotherapy is that our problems today are simply a current chapter of a story that began in our childhood. If we unpack what happened in the past, then we learn what makes us tick. We can look at and evaluate why we do what we do. It can be helpful if we are stuck in a relational rut. Repeating, over and over again the same mistakes and never getting out of life what we hoped for. So, we get advice from a friend, pastor or counselor, and the beneficiary dutifully take their thoughts to heart and learns something about yourself and the way you relate to others.
The problem: Insight does not equal life change—or, in professional counseling terms, a shift—and that is a big deal.
The mechanic needs a shift
Imagine going to an auto body shop after an accident. The mechanics walk around your car several times, taking copious notes on every detail of the damage. They disappear back into their office for a short time and upon returning, soberly announce, “Um, you might want to have a seat. This might be difficult. Um, we’re sorry to tell you…, geez, how to say this…look, you hit a tree. Your driving could have been better.”
“That’s…it?” you’d say. You’d want to scream, “Duh! I know I hit a tree! I know I made mistakes! What can I do to fix it now?”
Sometimes counseling works the same way. Solution-Focused Counseling (SFC) takes a different approach than the traditional psychotherapy route of inventorying a lot of history. For starters, the counselor assumes a few things about his client. The first is that he or she is able to solve their situation. Even further, the clients already have an idea of the answer to their problems, and it is likely that they just don’t realize it yet.
Most importantly, a solution –focused counselor is looking for solutions and not just a better understanding of the problem.
So, tell me about your Giraffe
Here’s how SFC works:
Don’t think about a polar bear.
Seriously.
Just stop.
Don’t think about the polar bear!
I mean it this time.
Quit it.
Can’t do it, can you? The polar bear is just sitting there in your head like a big lump. Don’t worry he’s in mine, too.
Now, try this: Don’t think about a polar bear. Instead, think about a giraffe. Did you do it?
Hey, look at you! You did it! Easier isn’t it?
That’s an introduction to SFC. A solution-focused counselor will get a basic inventory of history to understand the context of a situation, but wants to transition (sooner than later) into seeking answers.
Next week, in the second part of this two-part series on an introduction to Solution-Focused Counseling, we’ll explore some of the specific techniques that make up this strategy to pursue actionable solutions to experience a true shift in our lives.
Dave Olges, MA, MBA, NCP, LMHC is a Christian, licensed mental health counselor and president of Embark Counseling in Fishers, Indiana. Contact him at dolges@msn.com.
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Tags: Counseling, Solution Focused
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